Introducing Structure at 6 Months - Day One

I can't believe my precious girl is 6 months already! It seems like Ella has been with us forever and yet at the same time her first 6 months have whizzed by.
We've started solids by way of baby led weaning and it's becoming apparent that our little madam really knows her own mind. Ella is high maintenance and a complete Jekyll and Hyde. If we are out, she is being fussed over or is in her sling she is an absolute angel. If Mummy tries to put her down or insists that she really needs to nap, my sweet angel is replaced by a raging, angry sod that isn't calmed until Mummy gives in. Yes, she will literally lay in the arms of the Mr or a Grandparent and scream until she either passes out from exhaustion or Mummy can't take it anymore and caves in by picking her up.
I have to return to work soon and so it would be cruel of me to not try and soothe these anger issues before I do.
Another Mummy friend has been through something similar with her daughter and talked me through the importance of setting and sticking to a routine.
Other than bedtime (bath, story and boob until asleep) we have let Ella set her own schedule during the day and I'm going to say her schedule sucks. She won't nap unless fed to sleep, will not tolerate being put down for more than a few minutes and wakes me on average 5 times a night demanding Mummy Dummy (boobie) to settle herself back to sleep. Ella rages unless she gets what she wants immediately and Mummy has learned it is easier to just give in. I'm trying to remind myself that sorting this now is best for her long term, but in my head all I have swilling round is the evidence that letting them find their own routine is best and the look of sadness she gives me when I try to be firm breaks my heart.
We will be starting small with waking her at a set time each day (regardless of how little sleep she's given anyone) and operating on a 2 hour awake and then nap schedule. I also need to stop feeding her to sleep as she seems to struggle to fall asleep on her own.
I'm dreading it and thought it may be best to document our first week so I can see if there is any improvement.

Day One

Technically we started half way through her day as I didn't chat to my Mummy friend until lunch.

4.30pm Nap

We headed upstairs with a dry nappy and a full tum. I darkened the room and we then read a book.  Ella was full of smiles even when I initially put her in the cot. Although she had been eye rubbing and it was about 2 hours since she had last woken up she decided to play by rolling around the cot.
At about 4.45pm Ella realized that Mummy wasn't planning on budging from her spot next to the cot to pick her up, so the grumbling started. I tried to hold her hand, rub her face and back, anything to soothe her that wasn't picking her up. Ella soon realized she was being forced to nap so the grumbling turned to crying with tears. Once Ella realized this was still not having the desired effect she turned the rage factor up to 10; beetroot faced, being sick, screaming to the point it hurts your own throat to hear it and thrashing around her cot.
This went on until 5.45pm when I figured an hour of raging expends a lot of calories so a feed should be offered.
Unsurprisingly she was so shattered that the fell asleep 10 minutes in to her feed and I had to pop her off and lay her in the cot. Ella did open her eyes and glared at me in an accusing manner as I put her down, but she didn't wake up fully or meltdown all over again like she usually does, so as technically she went to sleep whilst in her cot, I'm taking this as a win.
It's now 6.20pm and Ella should really be getting ready for her bath in 10 minutes so we can start her bed routine. I now don't know whether to wake her or let her sleep through. My small feeling of victory has gone out the window, well played Miss Ella, well played.

 7.00pm Bedtime

Due to Miss Ella being a pickle and fighting the nap we were 30 minutes late starting our bedtime routine (bath, sleepsuit with Grobag, story with boobie until she is asleep, carefully transfer to the cot whilst praying she doesn't wake up, if she wakes repeat with from boobie as many times as needed) so things were not off to a good start.
I have no idea if it was that she was still shattered from her nap fighting meltdown or if she had noticed Mummy was being a bit firmer, but she raged through her entire bath (something she usually enjoys) and I joked to the Mr that she was definitely turning the rage up to 11.  I had never seen her this angry and at one point she projectile vomited all over herself in the bath purely through rage.
At 7.15pm I had finally wrestled her into the sleepsuit and Grobag, her once clean face a mess of snot, tears and angry red splotches.  Ella initially guzzled greedily during her feed, but 15 minutes in she had slowed right down and I knew she was falling asleep.  I popped her off and was now faced with a dilemma; usually I had a 25% chance of transferring her to the cot still asleep and my instincts were screaming at me to do this, but I had been advised that burping her after her bed feed was vital as gas could keep her awake and see me spending my evening chasing up and down the stairs to settle her.
I started to wind her and was amazed when she instantly gave up two large burps, but still stayed asleep.  Not wanting to push my luck I actually started to lower her carefully into the cot until I realized that this usual behavior of putting her into the cot asleep is what is causing the problems with her not being able to fall asleep without me.
Gently maneuvering her into a sitting position I started to read her a 5 minute story that I had downloaded free on my phone.  By a page in she was wide awake, cooing and gurgling; my spirits plummeted as she was now wide awake again.  Once the story was over I calmly told Miss Ella that it was time to sleep and kissed her goodnight, I knew this was going to be a long one and coolly wondered if it would take her longer to fall asleep then the nap saga earlier.
Immediately after being put in her cot Miss Ella was 'talking' to me.  I simply laid my arm next to her and picked up phone.  I was trying to portray an image of 'I'm here, but I'm not interacting with you'.  Within a few minutes Miss Ella had wriggled into a position she obviously found comfortable and fallen asleep.
I sat there for 10 more minutes just waiting for her to wake up and start screaming.  Getting her settled and asleep after her bath in under 30 minutes?  No way!

Dream Feed

For the entire evening I was glued to the baby monitor just expecting her to wake up, furious that I'd somehow tricked her in to falling asleep without a meltdown.  Just to keep me on my toes she decided to fall asleep on her stomach and I was fighting the desire to flip her from the installed cot death sleeping guidelines.  I kept repeating that she was now more than capable of maneuvering herself if need be and that waking her after she self settled was a really stupid idea.  Instead I kept checking on her (stupid as we have an angel care sensor pad fitted, but I'm neurotic!) and she didn't move from this position once.
Ella did not wake until we came up at 10.30pm when a combination of the dogs and the Mr loudly coughing proved too much for the poor thing to sleep through.
We always dream feed when I come up to bed as I optimistically believe it will help her sleep through for longer.  I tried to pop her off before she fell asleep, but she surprised me by taking less than 20 minutes, I did wind her but she was pretty much asleep before I put her in the cot and there was no way I was going to wake her as that goes against the idea of a dream feed.

Our first day was less difficult than I expected and she fully surprised me with how easily she settled at bed time.  I'm not foolish enough to believe she is going to repeat this again and part of me fears I'm going to pay for it in some way, fingers crossed she doesn't exact her revenge overnight!